Goals On Film

Hello and welcome back to Football Reloaded for another slice of 1990s and 2000s football nostalgia. 

We're going for something slightly different for this week's post and taking a look back at some of the attempts to bring football to the big screen that were brought out between 2000 and 2010. Grab your popcorn, put your feet up and join us to remember some footballing films. 

There's Only One Jimmy Grimble (2000)

Think Billy's Boots for the Pro Evolution Soccer generation, the film tells the tale of a bullied Mancunian schoolboy who harbours dreams of playing for Manchester City but finds his crippling nerves and players unwilling to share the school team spotlight a massive stumbling block. 

When he receives a pair of battered old boots from an elderly neighbour that he believes to have once belonged to a City legend, Jimmy's performances improve and his dream of playing at his beloved Maine Road soon becomes a reality. 

The film features star turns from Robert Carlyle as an ex-Man City player turned Jimmy's PE teacher, Ray Winstone as his mum's ex-boyfriend and Ben Miller as mother's new squeeze. Despite a predictable plot and a questionable Manc accent from Winstone the film ticks over nicely and is an inoffensive feel-good tale. 

Perhaps somewhat predictably, bullied schoolboy and Man City fan Jimmy Grimble's tormentors are fervent supporters of Manchester United.

Mean Machine (2001)

An English re-telling of Burt Reynolds' 1974 outing (and 2005 Adam Sandler remake) The Longest Yard, Mean Machine stars Vinnie Jones as disgraced former England captain Danny Meehan who is imprisoned after assaulting police officers and going on a mad drink-driving bender. 

Whilst behind bars, our hero trains up a rag-tag bunch of inmates to play in a high-stakes match against the corrupt guards. The prisoners team consists of the likes of Danny Dyer (Billy The Limpet), Jason Statham (Monk, a dangerous inmate kept in solitary confinement) and former Rugby League star turned actor Adam Fogerty (best known as Gorgeous George in Snatch). Ryan Giggs even makes a blink and you'll miss him cameo as a prison guard. 

No real need to discuss the plot here if you've seen The Longest Yard as the film is an almost carbon copy with all gridiron references swapped for football. Not a bad film, not the greatest but will pass an hour and half while we're waiting for the season to start. 

Vinnie Jones takes the role previously played by Burt Reynolds and later Adam Sandler as The Longest Yard gets the English football treatment in Mean Machine.

Mike Bassett: England Manager (2001) 

Imagine a cinematic remake of 1994's An Impossible Job with Jim Royle playing Graham Taylor and you have Mike Bassett: England Manager. 

After the incumbent national team gaffer falls victim to a heart attack and in the face of reluctance from top-division managers to take the top job, the FA turn to Norwich boss Mike Bassett to steer the team to the World Cup finals in Brazil. 

The Spinal Tap style mockumentary features all the tropes attached to the England national team during the 1990s (a drunken yet phenomenally talented midfielder, a photogenic celebrity right winger, a hard-man defender and a wonderkid of a centre forward) as well as cameos from the great and the good of the footballing world (including Barry Venison). A fantastic tongue in cheek romp with plenty of sideways swipes at the FA, the media and footballing culture in general. 

Presenter of The Chase Bradley Walsh hilariously plays assistant manager and yes man Dave Dodds alongside Ricky Tomlinson in Mike Bassett: England Manager.

Bend It Like Beckham (2002)

The one that took all the critics by surprise to become the highest-grossing football film of all time and blazed a trail by giving women's football a cinematic platform. 

Gurinder Chadha's tale is told through the eyes of 18-year-old Jess, a talented footballer who joins her local women's team against the wishes of her strict Sikh parents who would prefer her to learn to become the perfect Indian housewife. 

Parminder Nagra and Keira Knightley are perfectly cast in their respective breakthrough roles as the social and cultural struggles attached to growing up in a religious household as well as women's football as a whole. 

Keira Knightley and Parminder Nagra proved to be a fine on-screen partnership in Bend It Like Beckham.

The Damned United (2009)

Quite simply, the best film about football of all time. Michael Sheen steps into the shoes of Brian Clough in the fantastic adaptation of David Peace's 2006 bestseller. 

While Cloughie's tumultuous 44 day reign as manager of Leeds United is the main plotline, the film also tells the tale of the rise of his partnership with Peter Taylor and how they masterminded Derby County's rise from second division obscurity to almost the pinnacle of Europe. The outgoing manager's electric showdown with arch-rival Don Revie serves as a fine climax to the picture. 

Michael Sheen's performance as Clough rightly earned plenty of plaudits (as did his portrayals of Tony Blair, Kenneth Williams and later Chris Tarrant) as does Timothy Spall in his role as Taylor. Despite the reservations of the Leeds players depicted in the novel and later the film, the tale is one of success, failure and later redemption as the epilogue shows how Cloughie bounced back to lead Nottingham Forest to glory. 

Michael Sheen and Stephen Graham line up as Brian Clough and Billy Bremner in their respective performances in The Damned United. 

Looking For Eric (2009)

Not so much a film about the action on the field, Ken Loach's 2009 picture tells the tale of what football and the game's respective heroes can do to help the everyman escape from the drudgery of day to day life. 

Former bass player with The Fall Steve Evets plays Eric Bishop, a Mancunian postman who idolises Manchester United hero Eric Cantona despite his personal life starting to take it's toll. After a meditation session, Bishop begins to see hallucinations of his hero who acts as a guide helping him to piece his life back together which ultimately results in the reconciliation with his ex-wife and daughter that he craved for so long. 

Evets plays the role of Eric perfectly and is well backed up by the likes of John Henshaw and Justin Moorhouse (alumni of such Greater Manchester comedies as Early Doors, The Royle Family and Phoenix Nights) while Shameless star Gerard Kearns transitions the scally character of Ian Gallagher perfectly into the film as Eric's delinquent stepson. While he may not be as revered for his cinematic outings as his footballing career, Eric Cantona also plays himself brilliantly in this charming and very relatable tale. 

Steve Evets and Eric Cantona share a conversation as the Frenchman begins to help United fan Eric Bishop's life back on track in 2009's Looking For Eric. 

Thanks for taking a look at this piece, don't panic that we haven't covered the Goal! trilogy here, there's an entire post on each of those films coming soon enough. 

Remember to follow us on Twitter @DBGFootball for more from Football Reloaded as well as other stuff. What films have we missed that you think should have made the list. 

Until next time, take care.